Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Learning to be Lady-like. 'Gender'

Genesis 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them

Why is something as simple as 'being ladylike' so difficult to do in practice? I think one major reason is that women are just not comfortable with their gender. Many women have lost touch with the value and specialness of 'womanhood'. The scripture above is one we may be so familiar with and yet have never grasped the immensity of its message. God created us in HIS own image, male and female! He couldn't do without one or the other, for more than just reasons of procreation..

 Genesis 2:18  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man [Adam] should be alone; I will make him an help meet [a helper suitable] for him

So we can understand that men and women are different, complement one another and are made in His image.

It can be a helpful thing to meditate on these Scriptures, asking the Holy Spirit to help us understand and become comfortable with our female gender 

Image Flickr (free parking) Is being lady-like just about etiquette?
 When we are unsure of, or uncomfortable with our female souls, we can feel very vulnerable with the concept of lady-likeness. Skirts feel 'funny', wearing hair long might make us feel 'unprotected' or similar. So I think of becoming lady-like as a gentle journey towards getting to know, and to celebrate our feminine selves. Whenever we begin our  journey, let's take our time and enjoy the learning.

Have some FUN with these challenges


1. If you have any feelings of fear, vulnerability, or unfamiliarity with your femaleness, ask God to reveal and help you in those areas, so you can truly love being the womanly 'you' He created.

2. (Beginner)Put on a skirt or a dress. I know from experience that as you get used to wearing skirts, you actually start to feel more feminine and more confident. If you are afraid of wearing a skirt, try a longer length denim skirt. Wear it in the house, even in secret! until you get used to the feeling. Be careful to choose dresses or skirts that are modest - we are looking for lady-like not 'sex chick' !
2. (Advanced) Put on dresses or skirts which are of very feminine fabrics and style. Try and have a change from solid colours or drab fabrics. Think flowing, draping, full skirts and florals, and small prints. Lace, velvet, ribbons and all things feminine, or a nice barrette in your hair. Maybe have a picture in your mind of those Victorian Ladies in the paintings. Just one or two feminine touches can make you feel more lady-like, while retaining gentle modesty.

3. If you have children, join them for a tea-party in the house. The boys will enjoy these too and will have the chance to practice 'polite society', and eat some nice cakes or fancies. Girls can dress up and serve the 'tea' to guests - not forgetting teddy. They will love sharing this with you. Maybe you could find a pretty cloth or flowers for the table (or find a special children's tea-set to delight them at Christmas) Perhaps have some grown-up tea parties too, and invite your friends.

4. True lady-likeness comes from the inside, from the heart. It is gentle, kind, considerate, and thinks of others. 

 Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, [23] Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law

 Practice the lady-like art of conversation. Let others know they are valued and important to you by giving them your full attention when they are speaking. Listen with patience and do not be ready with a clever witicism or your own agenda.

I will be exploring more about inner lady-likeness soon. I hope you will join me.

5. Pay attention to how you walk. Look in the shop windows or ask your family. Ladies do not stride forth - unless it is an emergency- take slightly smaller and slower steps, and know that you will look instantly more elegant.

Please ladies, let me know if you try any of the above challenges and what results you got - even if they were not quite what you expected. I would love to know

farewell, adieu, dear readers - until we meet again


  1. #2 I grew up in dresses, but I love to don an apron while in the kitchen, makes it so much more fun! :)
    #5 Oh dear.... I am such a tom-boy (even though I am a girly-girl) I walk fast and like a man I know :(
    Great list though, I wish more women would realize that's it's our right and privilege to look pretty and feminine.

    1. Thank you for your comments. I love aprons too, and will often ask for pretty ones for birthdays etc. You are spot on with - " I wish more women would realize that it's our right and privilege to look pretty and feminine"
      I feel that times may be a'changing and women are rediscovering their femininity

  2. I am wearing my skirt today with rights and my flats:-) I love simple dark colors like gray,black or brown:-) I am also growing my hair out and planning to order apron. I am proud to be simple modest and ladylike for my husband:-)

  3. Thank you Suzannah. Simple, modest and ladylike sounds perfect to me : )

  4. So very true! Recently, I changed to wearing skirts as part of my uniform as a secretary in the NHS. It's made such a difference to me, for I feel so much more ladylike, comfortable, and have even had others comment on my "weight -loss". The funny thing is, I haven't lost any!
    Although shortly to resign my post to come home full time ( an answer to much prayer and consideration :-) I plan to continue to slowly expand my wardrobe to include mostly skirts.
    Not only do I feel that I look prettier on the outside, I feel it helps me to remember to focus on how I am on the inside too!

  5. That is so encouraging Tootsiebella. I love that you got 'weight-loss' comments. Thank you

  6. Wonderful post, my friend! I totaly agree that wearing skirts or dresses does make you feel feminine. I enjoy wearing 50's style skirts and dresses because of their fulness and slightly fitted waist - I always feel so lady-like in them and my husband likes it as well :) I liked #4, "True lady-likeness comes from the inside, from the heart." So true! Thank you for writing this and I hope you have a lovely evening.


    1. I have a 50's style apron which is so pretty, but I don't have any of those skirts - yet!

      Big hugs back to you x

  7. Lovely!! We are studying women of the bible in my Bible Study and are on the topic of Eve. I'll share this with the other ladies in my group. Thanks so much. ~ abby

    1. Thank you so much for visiting. I really enjoy your own blog and will try and get it added to my sidebar. Eve sounds like an interesting study and one I would like to do one day.

  8. I love my skirts now, although it took ages to not want to slip into jeans! AND, I feel less vulnerable because my torso is totally concealed and not up for inspection by the world. In fact, I can't go out, much less go to church, without making sure I'm 'covered'. It's been an incredible journey. My husband also now loves me in skirts. I've also kept my hair long - which was a bit worrying as I'm 50 and I wondered if it would look wierd. But it actually doesn't, in fact in some ways it's now just 'me'!

    Am going to be working on the walking thing now, thanks for that. I walk like a soldier I think ... so will be taking smaller steps and a slower approach to life. Keep up the good blog, am enjoying it all the way from Perth, Oz.

    1. I felt the same about long hair after 50, but it looks nice, even though it's greying. Our culture is beginning to change a little now, but it is sad to see older women with short, cropped hair, appearing like men - sad that they can't enjoy their femininity

      Good luck with the walking challenge Liz (I still need practice in this area too)

    2. I am 65 years old and have long hair nearly to my waist,I wear it up about half the time.It is blonde, now slowly greying,I wish you could turn white overnight because white hair is beautiful.I get many compliments on my hair and my feminine dress,I always try to have everything colour co-ordinated including jewellery and my aprons(of which I have a large collection)I am determined to never turn into one of these older women who seem to all look the same,with short permed hair and wearing drab non-descript clothes.My husband used to call them the beige people !

  9. Thank you Rosemary, I was blessed to read about your long hair, and colour coordination. My husband also loves colour and I try not to be too beige for him : )

    I'm sure your comments will encourage us. Thank you again

  10. I embrace womanhood and femininity. Great article. I just started posting again after about a year off. I'd love to have you check out my page. www.heartoffamily.com/posts/

  11. Thank you Nichole, I will come over for a visit.