They generally fit into two categories:
1. They are inconsiderate towards others
2. They come across as 'manly'
But we are often unaware of those mannerisms and behaviours that belong in the second category. That is why many women appear 'manly' and have no idea of it.
Have you ever looked through your holiday snaps and been confronted by a picture of yourself that is embarrassingly unlady-like? I have. There is one in particular that I thought would look funny. I pretended to be pulling out a sword from a stone. The grimace in the photo was not funny at all, but ugly and masculine-looking. How I hated that picture! When we try to look cool, or witty, we very often come across as unlady-like.
I was reminded while writing this post of my dear Auntie Rene. She wasn't particularly pretty, or delicate. She wasn't witty or clever as far as I can remember. But she was gentle and kind and very content in her role, as home-maker in her little flat (apartment). When she was very old, her face was kind and soft and very feminine. Have you ever heard the phrase 'if the wind changes, you'll stay like that'? We were told that, as children, if we pulled silly faces. In a way I think it is true. If we spend our daily lives grimacing (inside and outside!), one day we will look in the mirror and our faces will reflect those mannerisms, expressions and thoughts.
So here are some challenges you might like to try
1. Think carefully about your mannerisms this week. Look through photographs or pictures on the internet of women and pay attention to their expressions. Are they feminine?
2. Choose one or two expressions or mannerisms that you would like to focus on, and work on them during the week. Although it can take two weeks to make a new habit - so maybe work on them for a fortnight.
3. Find a picture of a gentle and feminine Victorian lady and make it into a screen-saver, or place it somewhere prominent. Every time you see the picture, imagine that you are her. How would she behave in public, towards her family, towards others?
4. Surround yourself with the sort of beauty that you would like to see reflected in your face, like Auntie Rene. Fill your home with flowers, or china bunnies, or home-baked goodies and things that you know will make the people around you feel loved and special and cheerful.
5. Look forward to seeing the sweet, feminine, gentle, Lady-like lady reflected back at you in the mirror.
Happy reflections, ladies